Co-Parenting When You Don’t Agree (And Why it Matters)
05/09/25
Children thrive in environments where they feel secure and understand that their parents — whether together or apart — are united in their care and support. From a childhood development perspective, co-parenting plays a vital role in providing consistency, emotional stability, problem-solving and a model for respectful communication.
When co-parents work together, when it’s hard, they create a sense of stability that supports healthy development for children. Consistent routines and shared expectations help children feel safe and grounded. A stable emotional environment reduces stress and fosters better mental health for little ones, while respectful communication between adults teaches children how to navigate relationships and resolve conflict in positive ways.
These everyday interactions send a powerful message: even when it’s difficult, working together is possible—and worth it. To get you started, here are five tips for co-parenting when you don’t agree from Jenn D, Coordinator for Action for Children’s The Art of Positive Parenting (TAPP) program!
1. Focus on the Child’s Needs
Always prioritize what is best for your child. This can help shift the focus from personal disagreements to shared goals. Ask yourself if you are making decisions based on how you feel or based on what is best for the child(ren).
2. Communicate Openly and Respectfully
Keep lines of communication with your co-parent open. Use “I” statements to express feelings without blaming or criticizing. For example, turn “You’re always late” into “I would appreciate it if you could be on time.” Try communicating with the other parent/guardian like you are in a “business-type relationship” — stick to facts and remove emotions and accusations from your conversations.
3. Set Clear Boundaries
Work together to establish boundaries to ensure that each parent’s role and responsibilities are clear. Boundaries can be set around communication, personal space and privacy, time, and how conflict can be resolved.
RESOURCE: 9 Essential Boundaries for Respectful Co-Parenting
4. Seek Compromise
Find middle ground where both you and your co-parent can agree. Compromise is key to resolving conflicts and solving problems. This shows the child(ren) how to compromise and resolve conflicts/problems of their own. Children model what their parents do.
5. Use a Co-Parenting Plan
Create a detailed co-parenting plan that outlines schedules, rules, and expectations. This can help reduce misunderstandings and conflicts and provide a more stable environment for your children. The higher the conflict, the more detailed the co-parenting plan should be.
When Co-Parenting Gets Tough, Get Help
If co-parenting becomes particularly challenging, don’t hesitate to seek help. Action for Children’s parent support programs can provide valuable guidance and resources to navigate these difficult situations and much more.
Learn more about TAPP, FatherUp, Mothers Matter, and Triple P!
Co-parenting as a team is what’s best for your child.
Child(ren) learn by the example their parents/guardians provide for them, and consistent effort is better than perfection. By working together, even when you don’t agree, you and your co-parent can create a nurturing environment for growth and development where your children who feel loved and supported by both parents!
Author: Jenn DeStefano, The Art of Positive Parenting Program Coordinator at Action for Children
About Action for Children: Action for Children is the local child care resource and referral agency for central Ohio, and is committed to assuring quality early learning experiences for all children. Our services focus on transforming the lives of children by supporting the everyday heroes who most influence our children’s early growth; care givers, educators, parents, and guardians. Learn More.
Action for Children’s TAPP offerings in Licking County are funded by the United Way of Licking County. Action for Children’s TAPP offerings across central Ohio are made possible by Action for Children’s generous donors.