How Home Visiting Saved My Life
05/13/26
*Content Warning: This blog discusses pregnancy loss, and breastfeeding struggles.*
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mother. I come from a very large, loud, robust family. My paternal grandparents had eight children, which left me with 18 first cousins. So, family, and starting one, you could say, was in my DNA. When I met my husband, we talked all the time about how many children we wanted, “what will their names be,” “will they play sports,” “will they be in the band,” and so on.
We were married in 2015, and we thought we would give ourselves some time to enjoy married life. And when the time came to start our family, it felt like nothing but defeat. We tried and tried, for years…and nothing. There was a time when I lost all hope and joy in wanting to have a family. My younger siblings were starting their own, and I was firmly in Aunt mode, while desperately wanting to be in Mom mode.
As I approached 40, something changed. I wanted to try again, and we did—but sadness hit us twice with two losses.
If you heard someone screaming into the universe around 2023, that was probably me.
Then in August of 2024, at the ripe old age of 39, I got another positive test, and something felt different about this one. To add some context, I lost my dad to complications of cancer in July of 2024. I was still grieving that loss, and then finding out we were pregnant again, I felt hope for the first time in a very long time. Once we got past the 12-week mark, I couldn’t wait to tell the world.
Pregnancy was great. I loved every moment of it…especially the hair (IYKYK). The birth of our son, Henry, came in March of 2025, and it was immediate love at first sight. I had him via a scheduled cesarean section at 37 weeks, but like some babies born by cesarian, his lungs were not working at full capacity. After trying skin to skin, and trying to get him breastfeed with no success, he was whisked away to the NICU. Both he and I were in the hospital for 5 days while we recovered. I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, but what I didn’t know at the time was how complicated and mentally exhausting it was going to be for me. After regaining hope throughout the 37 weeks of carrying my son, that hope quickly left me, and failure started to rush in.
Because Henry was in the NICU, I would have to pump. I would pump, and pump, and pump — but it felt like I was getting nothing (because I wasn’t). I would get jovial over .5oz of colostrum; but in my pessimistic brain, I knew it wasn’t enough. I would go into the NICU as often as I could to hold him and try to stimulate anything for me to get more volume — that wasn’t happening. When Henry was discharged from the NICU and brought into my room, I met with a lactation consultant before we went home. We had a few good latches, but without someone there to help me and help Henry latch, we were not very successful. The guilt started to silently wash over me. “I’m going home a failure.” I vividly remember thinking to myself. But I intended to keep trying, so I couldn’t give up.
Going home was both exciting and scary; kind of like a comedy that doubles as a horror film. My husband and I were walking around like zombies while this really cute stranger in our home kept screaming and demanding attention. How do you even have time to commiserate on the anxiety that you know you have? I’ll tell you when. It’s in the moments when your baby is sleeping or in the middle of the night when you can’t calm him down. That’s the first time I felt it—the baby blues. There would be times when I would feel so low; I couldn’t cry. Then there would be times when I would just continue to push my feelings down, just to keep going.
I thought to myself, “this is just a phase…” I would repeat that over and over to myself.
I gave birth at a Mount Carmel Hospital, and one of the programs offered to all birthing parents is a program called Welcome Home. This amazing program offers new parents access to a home visit by a registered nurse, at no cost to them. They check on your baby, talk to you about your mental health, feeding, sleeping, and anything else you need. I was never one to take advantage of programs like that. I always thought they weren’t for me. “I have a network of family; this is for people who may not have access,” I thought. But I quickly learned that wasn’t the case, and I, just like many people, needed some expert care.
That’s when Lori came into my life.
Lori came to my home, and I felt the verbal flood gates open. Things I felt I couldn’t tell my husband, my mom, my sisters…. “I’m struggling…I’m failing at this…Why can’t I breastfeed?” In the way only someone like Lori could, she looked me right in my eyes and said, “You are doing great.” Lori helped me realize a lot of things that I wasn’t considering; she connected me to breast feeding and mental health supports offered by the hospital. She also said three magic words to me that began to lift my worries: FED IS BEST.
In short, Lori saved my life. In so many ways. I could keep going, but I can’t keep you here all day.
Home Visting programs across the country, and here in the state of Ohio — programs like Help Me Grow that are offered here at Action for Children — are programs that truly do walk along side of our community members during the most exciting, anxiety-ridden, happy, terrifying moment of their lives. Whether it’s supporting those becoming new parents or helping existing parents welcome new children into the world, these heroes — angels on Earth, in my opinion — work tirelessly to decrease infant mortality, provide new moms with mental health support, navigate systems in healthcare, government, and more.
Maternal Mental Health is something that affects EVERYONE. Not just the birthing parent.
It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to support mom. There are better outcomes for both mom and baby when home visiting support is provided. Care is given on a level that meets parents where they are and helps them get to that point where they can be the best parents for their child— and support each other and themselves.
I can tell you, for certain, that without Lori and her support, I would not have been able to get out of the baby blues, and I imagine I would be telling a different story to you all today. So, if you are a new mom and are in the trenches, don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and ask for help. If you can’t do that, reach out to a close friend or your partner and open your heart to them about what you are experiencing. And if nothing else, I just want you to remember this: You’re doing great, momma.
PS. Some resources, if you need them, or if you have someone in your life that may need help ❤️
Beacon Postpartum | Your Postpartum Support Companion
Help Me Grow Home Visiting
POEM – Mental Health for Moms and Birthing Persons – Mental Health America of Ohio
Author: Natalie Atkins, Director of Organizational Advancement at Action for Children
Action for Children’s Help Me Grow home visiting services are funded by the Ohio Department of Children and Youth. Action for Children is an affiliate of Healthy Families America.
About Action for Children: Action for Children is the local child care resource and referral agency for central Ohio, and is committed to assuring quality early learning experiences for all children. Our services focus on transforming the lives of children by supporting the everyday heroes who most influence our children’s early growth; caregivers, educators, parents, and guardians. Learn More.
No woman should feel alone in their motherhood journey. Have a similar Maternal Mental Health story to share? Email news@actionforchildren.org!