When ‘Everyone Else Has a Phone’—Holding the Line in a Hyperconnected World
08/08/25
“Everyone else has a phone.”
“They’re already on TikTok.”
These aren’t just familiar refrains—they’re cultural currents that tug at modern parenting with urgency and emotion. Suddenly, we find ourselves not simply parenting, but swimming upstream in a tide that moves fast and pulls hard.
But two recent Harris Polls offer a revealing twist: many parents deeply regret giving their children smartphones too early, while a large number of Gen Z teens wish they hadn’t joined TikTok, Snapchat, or Instagram at all.
So how can parents effectively navigate this new era of parenting and child development in the digital age? We reached out to Christine Vineis, CEO of Unite for Safe Social Media to share her insights!
Q: How does social media affect children’s brains?
In childhood, the brain is actively forming neural pathways based on everyday experiences. Social media, with its fast pace and reward-driven content, trains the brain to crave instant gratification and constant stimulation. This rewiring process—called neuroplasticity—can weaken critical abilities like focus, emotional regulation, and sustained attention. The more time spent on these platforms, the more deeply those habits are reinforced.
Q: What are the negative effects of social media on child development?
Children who engage with social media too early often experience emotional instability, increased anxiety, and pressure to conform. Exposure to filtered lives and online validation can cause self-comparison and damage self-esteem. Addictive scrolling patterns and exposure to harmful content are common. These aren’t rare outcomes—they’re being reported by parents, teachers, and even teens themselves across the country.
Q: At what age should kids be allowed to use social media?
Many experts, including the American Psychological Association, recommend waiting until at least age 15 before allowing access to social media. This gives time for emotional and cognitive maturity to develop. When families decide to begin, it’s best to start with one app, monitored closely for six months.
As one grieving mother who son died of fentanyl poisoning off Snapchat powerfully said,
“When you feel your child is ready to have a stranger sit in their bedroom with them, then they’re ready for social media.”
Waiting isn’t falling behind—it’s preparing wisely.
Q: Can social media cause anxiety or depression in kids?
Yes, there is strong evidence linking excessive social media use to increased anxiety, depression, and even loneliness in children and teens. Constant comparison and pressure to stay connected 24/7 can erode emotional health. These platforms are designed to keep users engaged—not necessarily to support mental well-being. It’s important to check in regularly and encourage screen breaks and offline connection.
Q: How much screen time is too much for kids?
The American Academy of Pediatrics offers these guidelines:
- Infants (0–18 months): No screen time, except video chatting.
- Toddlers (18–24 months): Minimal, co-viewed with a parent.
- Preschoolers (2–5 years): Up to 1 hour/day, co-viewed.
- School-age children & teens: Prioritize quality over quantity—screen time should not replace sleep, physical activity, or family time.
Small, consistent boundaries make a big difference in long-term well-being.
Q: What can parents do if their child feels left out because they’re not on social media? What can kids say if teased by peers?
Unite was founded on the knowledge that parents working together, taking collective action, can support one another with shared, healthy digital use– try to build a parent support group as a start with like-minded parents.
It’s normal for kids to feel left out when they’re the exception—but being the exception is often a sign you’re doing something right. Parents can offer alternative ways to connect, like face-to-face hangouts, calls, or supervised group texts. Help your child understand the why behind your decision, and affirm that it’s about protecting—not punishing—them.
If they’re teased or questioned, here are a couple of confident responses they can try:
- “My family decided to wait—it’s not easy, but I get why.”
- “I’m not on social media, but I’d love to hang out another way.”
Support and practice go a long way in building confidence and resilience.
Q: What resources do you recommend for parents and caregivers?
We highly recommend checking out Unite for Safe Social Media, a growing movement of parents and professionals advocating for safer digital environments. Unite offers research-based fact sheets, breaking news on the latest social media trends, and daily updates on socials on how to support your child’s well-being in the digital age.
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Author: Christine Vineis, CEO, Unite for Safe Social Media
About Action for Children: Action for Children is the local child care resource and referral agency for central Ohio, and is committed to assuring quality early learning experiences for all children. Our services focus on transforming the lives of children by supporting the everyday heroes who most influence our children’s early growth; care givers, educators, parents, and guardians. Learn More.